What kinds of new relationships are enabled by technology?
Picture for a moment the stereotypical male online dater. Fat. Short. Bald. And quite possibly wearing dorky glasses.
In other words, the person you're imagining is actually George from Seinfeld.
So it's convenient then that Jason Alexander actually starred and directed in a Brad Paisely video about online dating.
How does the song portray this character -- let's call him George -- in real life?
- I work down at the pizza pit
- I drive and old Hyundai
- I still live with my mom and dad
- I'm 5'3 and overweight
- I'm a Sci-fi fanatic
- Mild asthmatic
- Never been to 2nd base
- physical attraction
- proximity
- common ground
- disinhibition effects
Fortunately, George has found a solution. "But there's a whole nother me That you need to see Go check out MySpace."
Cause online I'm down in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
I drive a Mazarati
I'm a black belt in Karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler online
With just a couple slight exaggerations, McKenna’s (2007) relationship facilitation factors are now working in his favor. Without gating features he's able to get to "chat with two women at one time." And thanks to a few new interests, he can now experience controlled interactions with 'similar' others. And if he's playing mysterious, they can always "get the goods" on MySpace. Because if it's on the MySpace, it's gotta be true.
All of the lies mentioned so far are classic examples of identity-based deceptions. By changing his height, weight, location, and income, he isn't so much telling a lie as he is living a lie. George is even partially conforming to Catalina's model by choosing to fudge his height (but also his weight). Specifically, "But I grow another foot And I lose a bunch of weight every time I log in."
And the best part is that it seems to be working. I know it's only fiction, but can you really watch this video without being tempted to "update" your own profile? I thought not. From now on everyone who Googles me will see
I'm so much cooler online.
I've always lived in Malibu
I posed for Calvin Kline, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I got a set of six pack abs that'll blow your mind
9 comments:
I love your sense of humor in this post and how you make it relate to theory. The external link to the video really took it home though for those of us who haven’t ever heard the song. It may have been helpful for those who do not share knowledge of the specific aspects of the theory and Catalina’s model to go into a little bit more theoretical detail. Overall though, it was very entertaining and you do well applying the theory to something that we will remember.
“And we can only hope (for his sake) the disinhibition effects aren't kicking in.”
George uses disinhibition effects (i.e. hyperpersonal model processes) to his advantage by allowing others to make exaggerated assumptions with a positive self valence (which is a lie). However, it is true that if his increased self-disclosure in relational development was of his true self, then he would have a hard time finding someone to interact with him on-line in a the way that he wanted to.
@Alisha
Thanks for your comments. You are right in your criticism. In my previous posts, I've tried to write in a way that is understandable and useful to people outside the class. I definitely did not succeed in that this time though. I wasn't able to find Catalina's homepage, where presumably her papers would be online. Because of this I wasn't able to use the chart or link back in any meaningful way. Also, to be completely honest, it's just really really difficult to write something that engaging and compelling and also fully covers three theories and their implications in only 400 words. I've got to work on that.
In this case I actually don't think it's such a bad thing though. All of the theories from this week were intuitive, meaning there wasn't much that would interest, say, web 2.0 entrepreneurs building the next generation of online dating sites or whatever.
If you (or anyone else) knows where the general public can access the studies from this week, I'll definitely add links back to them. I'd also like to be able to use that chart that Catalina had of her research, but I'm not sure if I'm allowed to copy that...
I like the direct tie to the song we saw in class. It is a prime example of both topics, deception and relationships.
It raises an interesting question about the relation between the two. With such easily manipulated sites as myspace and the infamous Wikipedia, can one really get the goods anymore, or is it all just a bag of lies? This is a good example of the removal of gating features, as you discussed, though I'm not sure how well the complete transformation applie to the more specific aspects of Catalina's model.
Alex, I liked the way you brought this video into your blog since we never really got a chance to talk about it much after we watched it in class. Brad Paisley has taken something that we all know occurs quite often and from this we can easily spot lots of connections to relationship factors. I liked the way you described McKenna's features because at first glance, I would immediately look to describe Wallace's so I liked reading your view of McKenna's factors and how they fit in this situation. My only constructive criticism is that I wish you had gone a little more in depth when you explained them. I really like your post, however I just wish that maybe instead of putting the lyrics in, which we can look up on our own, you could have written a little more about the theories.
Good job, though!
Alex,
I enjoyed reading your post, especially because you broke down your argument so well. The way you compared the actual George to the online George was extremely clear, and made it very easy to think about. I do agree with Jamie though, that you might have wanted to analyze the theories a little bit more indepth. Your blog got me thinking about when Wallace's claims (that attraction occurs along four dimensions) wouldn't work in real life--especially the part about common ground (I certainly hope for his sake as well, that he would not share anymore of his interests in hopes of finding somebody with the same interests). This can also apply to what we discussed in class, how sometimes it is better to get to know somebody before meeting them. Perhaps if George were to disguise his phyical attractiveness (or lack thereof), use the online space to encourage the idea of proximity between him and the two women he is chatting with at one time, as well as mention fewer of his interests (the fewer mentioned, the greater the chance he might find somebody with that interest), George might find somebody that will take a liking to him before getting to know the entire him. Using the online space allows him to use self-selection, and while this has moral implications, if it makes him and somebody else happy in the end, why not?
That video ties in perfectly with the different relational factors of both McKenna and Wallace.
The only thing I question is how accurate one can manipulate “getting the goods” as described in McKenna’s relationship factors. We have talked in class about how important it is to follow “norms” especially when dealing with online social networking sites. If you do not conform to “unwritten rules” (posting a picture of yourself, having friends to show popularity, etc. you start to look like you are fraud. The pictures on MySpace validate your online identity and they have to be somewhat accurate or else it would be a double life. I find this more applicable towards the Facebook route as people at least have some friends (I would hope) that they know on a personal level. It would be hard to lie about your “goods” if other people can get them and instantly point out gaps or lies.
It seems to be that if someone really wanted to get the goods on George (through MySpace) it would be hard to hide his true self forever.
Maybe he isn’t so cool online after all…
Wow,
really enjoyed your post, especially since I am a country music fan. As soon as I read the title I immediately knew that I would be commenting on it. I was very impressed with the way you tied the theories into the song. Like most people have already mentioned, you could have used a little more detail but I understans that 400 words is pretty short. Perhaps you could have used less of the lyrics because after a few lines I think that most people get the point. I would much rather have the lyrics included the way you did but overall it would probably be more appropriate to link it more to the theories. Great Job!
Alex Krupp, you're a funny guy. Also being the last one to post 14 minutes before class is clever - you've gotten 7 comments thus far. Good job on your analysis of McKenna's relationship facilitation factors, however I've got a bone to pick with you regarding Wallace's attraction factors. You've limited your analysis of these to George's "dorky" side, i.e. the glasses-wearing Star Wars fanatic. Rather than negating most of Wallace's factors, could you have extended your analysis to George's snazzy MySpace profile? George's Brad Paisley look-alike profile will win the girls in physical attraction, and common ground and proximity also work in his favor after some fudging on a highly frequented online space. I will, however, agree with you that for the his sake, and the sake of women everywhere, that the disinhibition effects do not kick in.
Alex,
I also agree that the Brad Paisley songs fits in perfectly with both the Wallace and McKenna theories we have been talking about. I like how you tied it into your blog as if it were cited material – this really helped the whole post flow nicely. Another positive was the fact that you gave us an image that most people could recognize: good old George from Seinfeld.
I thought you made valid points that supported both theories and in addition brought in Catrina’s hypotheses as well; however, I feel that in the given the number of word constraints it may have been more effective if you just focused on one theory (maybe two). This way you could dig more into meaning, rather than scratching the surface – although you did a good job. I also would have found it neat if you were able to constantly refer back to George so that we can keep imagining what this person is like and linking those points to a brief clip from the lyrics of that song, opposed to having a verse of the song written in. Overall, I really enjoyed reading your blog.
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