11 - Leaving virtuality, a relationship story

One of my closest friendships began several years ago on a Buffalo Sabres forum. While I was aware of my friend's existence within this space before we started talking, it wasn't until we both found out (in a thread unrelated to the Sabres, actually) that we were attending the same college at that time (he as an undergrad, me as a high school senior taking classes), and were in fact taking the same class (at different times in the day, however). After this, we exchanged our AIM information and frequently chatted online. Given the fact that we lived very close to each other, we decided to meet up one day at the college. This was several months after we first began conversing on CMC. Since then, we frequently correspond with each other both on and off line, and we have a very close relationship.

This experience goes against Ramirez & Wang's study which states that meeting a person face-to-face with whom you've been communicating via CMC leads to an enhancement effect, and that this effect results in disappointment and a negative overall effect. The study also concludes that time is an important factor and that short-term associations that leave virtuality will experience more positive effects. As for long-term associations, the effect will be more negative. As I mentioned, my friend and I are still extremely close and get along very well. My impression of him did not suffer a negative effect, despite the fact that our relationship could be considered a long-term association according to the Ramirez & Wang study.

The theory that most supports my online-offline relationship is Berger and Calabrese's Uncertainty Reduction Theory which suggests that more information about a person online will lead to more liking and intimacy in the relationship. The overall effect of leaving virtuality also tends to be positive. As my friend and I conversed online, we found more in common with one another, and we often had long, enjoyable conversations. When the relationship moved offline, our impressions of one another did not change, nor did our interactions.

In addition to this theory, however, I do believe things like McKenna's attraction factors also come into play. For example, my friend and I were drawn to each other because we had common interests--the Sabres and the college we were attending. Also, the fact that we could identify ourselves as members of two distinct groups (both of which we would consider in-groups) suggests that our relationship supports the SIDE theory. SIDE predicts that when moving from individuality into an in-group, the interaction tends to be more positive. This was true for our initial meeting, and was further backed up by the fact that we both decided to first meet each other face-to-face at the location of one of our groups (the college).