One relationship I’ve had that started online was with a friend that I was developing a website with. We met each other online on a social news site and talked for many months as friends. After a while we realized that we were both interested in web design and decided to meet up. I got in the car and drove to meet him and was surprised by what I found.
Upon meeting, I initially liked him less than I had online. I’d say the hyperpersonal model definitely rang true here. Online I had thought of him as being very intelligent, and in person I still thought he was intelligent, but perhaps not quite as intelligent as he appeared on the Internet due to selective self-presentation. However, after some time I began to like more. I developed increased (platonic) attraction toward him, but for completely different reasons than the ones that had made me like him initially online. I would chalk this up to uncertainty reduction theory. So what happened was that I initially liked him less than I did online because of the hyperpersonal model, but in the end I began to like him more because I traits that weren’t apparent online.
In the end we decided not to go forward with our web project, or at least it is on backburner currently, but I still would consider my experience of meeting him online to be a positive one. My advice for those meeting someone for the first time would be that if you don't like the other person as much as you initially thought you would, don't treat it as a write-off, just take a deep breath and go out for a few beers and after a few more hours you may end up liking the other person even more.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Hey Alex,
Great post! What I liked about it the most is that you outlined your relationship with your friend using two theories. I, for instance, only utilized one model to explain the experience and this might have limited my analysis.
The few times I talked online to someone I didn't know, my opinion of them switched several times and never really settled on any firm judgment until I met the individual. This is probably because I pay too much attention to details (e.g. spelling, comments) in order to "figure out" the person and I get carried away. In general, most of my experiences would have been best described using both the Hyperpersonal Model as well as the Uncertainty Reduction Theory.
Overall, good job!
-Bianca
I agree with Bianca about your use of two theories in your blog. I came across this dilemma when writing my blog, whether I could use more than one theory, but I decided to stay with one theory. I think that the hyperpersonal theory and the URT theory would both be applicable to my blog. I also think that they are (or can be) intertwined usually. Hyperpersonal theory is applicable to the beginning of the relationship, and URT strengthens as the relationship progresses. Hyperpersonal applies to the beginning because you know really little and so you exaggerate what facts are given to you, but as the relationship progresses, the more you find out aobut the other, therefore the uncertainty is reduced.
Post a Comment