Although there is a group of six cousins in my family that were born roughly around the same age and have always been very close, my cousin "James" has always been a little bit of an odd duck. His obsession with computers started early and he isn't a very social kid to say the least. He hacked our high school's computer system at age 14, dropped out of high school at age 15, got his GED and scored a sweet job with UPS that he's kept for about 4 years. During all this time, he never really had a clique or posse of friends, but he has had four different girlfriends. He's met each one virtually (one in a Yahoo chat, one through Fbook, and two through Myspace I believe). This Thanksgiving I had the pleasure of meeting and speaking with his latest girlfriend, "Jessie". No matter how uninterested or preocuppied I pretended to be, she persisted to describe to me in great deal the AIM messages her and James exchanged that led their relationship to where it is now. She also proceeded to tell me how she is only 17 years-old and wants to marry James and start having children as soon as she turns 18 in seven months. Hah.
With such a strong, strange relationship these two have, one must wonder, "How did they find one another?", "What effect did the medium have on their getting together?" and "Will they last long-term?"The most significant theories that I can connect James and Jessies' preference for online love to are Wallace's "Attraction Factors". Wallace states that four factors (physical attraction, proximity, common ground and disinhibition effects) account for interpersonal attraction online. Physical attraction is perhaps the most important variable. In FtF interactions, many people judge or stereotype others based solely on looks first, then "get to know them". However, on the internet, individuals aren't constrained by physically attractiveness and usually get the opportunity to get to know one another without the bias of fortuante or unfortunate looks. Proximity online flows from intersection frequency. I believe that James and Jessie were able to first interact because they were in the same Yahoo chat room. Secondly, their frequent AIM conversations helped them interact frequently and therefore become very familiar and comfortable with one another. The next factor Wallace discusses is common ground. Part of Jessie and James' attraction to one another is their shared beliefs. They both live in southern Virginia, they are both very conservative and both value family. These shared beliefs probably helped them initiate conversations with one another and kept their conversations flowing smoothly. Lastly, Wallace describes the internets disinhibition effects. Similar to the Hypersonal process, individuals are more likely to self-disclose online in a shorter time period than they are in FtF conversations. As McKenna stated, the internet is a great medium for the "removal of gating features". Although James is very shy in FtF conversations, he feels much more comfortable to be himself and self-disclose online once these "gates" have been removed.
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