Assignment 11: Awkwetch

“Hi Vivian,

My name is Justin and coincidently, our mothers take the same bus to work everyday. I'm glad to see that another person goes to Cornell from back home. Apparently, our mothers exchanged our phone numbers, but I thought that calling a complete stranger was kinda awkward and sketchy. SO, I thought that emailing you would be a good idea since email is a trendy, modern less awkwetch (awkard + sketchy) way to communicate. Pardon my randomness.

So how do you like your first year at Cornell? My mother tells me you are in ILR, I am in architecture myself (third year). I hope you aren't too stressed and that your experience here is well worth it. I'm sure your spring break was a much deserved and restful one.
If you aren't busy, we should meet up some time over coffee and I can tell you about what you should expect at Cornell in your later years. Hope to meet you soon and if you need to contact me, my number is (917) 288 - 1967 and my AIM sn is nyczjust2nice. I'm usually in Rand Hall.

Talk to you soon,
Justin”


This was the first of many emails I received from someone who is now a good friend of mine. We began by conversing through email. Although he offered his screen-name and cell number, I wanted to get to know him a bit more before meeting him. After two weeks of emailing perhaps twice a week, our relationship moved to AIM. We talked daily, for about a week, sharing life stories (usually about our mothers who are extremely chatty!), before actually getting together, in person. When we met, we immediately hit it off; it seemed as if we’d been friends for years! I believe that URT (Berger&Calabrese 1997) can explain our relationship best because of the positive outcome that resulted from increased information about the other.

URT says reducing uncertainty will lead to attraction. My friendship with Justin began slowly, first with a few emails, but with every email he seemed even friendlier, always offering more information about himself. In the first email, as you can see, he disclosed very general information that he went to Cornell, was in AAP, and in his third year. He also offered to share advice, which seemed like a very nice thing for someone I didn’t know to offer. I knew he was from around where I lived because our mothers take the same bus, but I really didn’t know much else about him. With each conversation we had, I found out a little more about him. Sometimes we talked about family, other times we talked about our classes—regardless of the topic, I found myself often agreeing with the things he said or relating my experiences to his.

After about one month of CMC communicating, Justin and I finally settled on a convenient time for both of us to get lunch. When we met, we immediately hit it off. Communicating through email and AIM definitely led to that comfort of feeling like we had been friends for years! Everything mentioned or said in our CMC conversations seemed to hold true in FtF conversations. After meeting in person that first time, we started to talk less on AIM, but we got together in person more. We would make plans through email or AIM, and continue our friendship through weekly lunches and coffee meetings. As URT says, our relationship leaving virtuality had a highly positive outcome. After forming a relationship in CMC, our relationship moved successfully to FtF (aka Real World). URT was right in that the more we reduced uncertainty about the other, the more we wanted to know about each other, and the more positive the outcome of our friendship had.