Taylor was the answer to all of my prayers, or so I thought. I was in 10th grade and a card carrying member of the lonely hearts club. So when a random girl from the town next to me left me a friendly message, I was intrigued. She and I had similar tastes in music, and she thought I was cool. That was really all we had going for us.
Over the next few week’s we talked a lot online and even on the phone for a bit. We didn’t really have deep conversations, but she was very friendly, and I was okay meeting her in town for pizza after about a month, because we got along so well online.
This is a textbook example of the hyperpersonal theory. The hyperpersonal theory has five elements, and Taylor and I hit all of them.
1. Over-Attribution Process: Fewer cues lead to exaggerated impressions.
Because we met on myspace, and than moved onto instant messaging, I didn’t have much to judge this girl on, and so I gave her the benefit of the doubt, and thought she was cool.
Because we met on myspace, and than moved onto instant messaging, I didn’t have much to judge this girl on, and so I gave her the benefit of the doubt, and thought she was cool.
2. Developmental Aspect: Better relationships form over time
Without my knowledge, our interactions developed straight into a relationship. Before long “<3 Steve” was in her AIM profile, and I had nothing to do with it.
Without my knowledge, our interactions developed straight into a relationship. Before long “<3 Steve” was in her AIM profile, and I had nothing to do with it.
3. Selective Self-Presentation
If anyone’s ever had “The Angles”, it was Taylor. Meeting her in real life was a total shocker. I was so suprised by the way she looked, nothing else really mattered. I was already ready to leave.
If anyone’s ever had “The Angles”, it was Taylor. Meeting her in real life was a total shocker. I was so suprised by the way she looked, nothing else really mattered. I was already ready to leave.
4. Re-allocation of cognitive resources: you focus so much on what you type, you don’t really pay attention to anything else.
Its true. I thought a lot about making myself sound cool. I thought so much about that, it didn’t cross my mind that she might be doing the same.
Its true. I thought a lot about making myself sound cool. I thought so much about that, it didn’t cross my mind that she might be doing the same.
5. Behavioral Confirmation: if someone thinks you are X, you act X.
I wasn’t aware of this, but looking back it was probably true. The more Taylor liked me, the more likable I acted. I was nicer to Taylor than I was to any of my real friends.
So online, Taylor and I were great for each other. We had very little in common and weren’t aware of the pitfalls of myspace. Once I met her, however, I was confronted by someone who was far far less attractive than the girl I thought I had met online. It was immediately I decided to end this relationship, realizing I had walked right into what I thought only happened in jokes.
7 comments:
I liked the way you analyzed each section of the hyperpersonal model and was then able to relate it back to Taylor and your relationship. Interesting how we all fall into these different models and theories at one point or another in the online world and don’t even realize it. I find it fascinating that people can fall for each other through the online medium without even really knowing the person or ever laying eyes on them. It happens so often it’s scary. People can be whoever they want to be online and can go from being a social “outcast” in real-life to a “popular” kid online. I guess your example shows how trust goes out the window in a lot of online situations. You think you know someone, and then BOOOOM, you meet them in real-life and they are NOTHING like the online person you fell for.
Hey Steve, I also thought your post was really interesting. I like how you compared your relationship with Taylor to each of the different facets of the Hyperpersonal model. However, I would have liked to have seen you relate your relationship to Taylor a little more to the new topics we have been discussing in class. I think your dicusison of the Hyperpersonal model is really good, but that it really all you focus on. I think it would be better if you also tried to think about other theories that may or may not play a role in your relationship such as SIDE or bringing in the Ramirez and Wang study to show how your relationship developed into a negative one from a previously held positive one. Just some suggestions......even though this was our last post!
Your blog was pretty thorough (for four hundred words, anyhow), especially since you broke down the Hyperpersonal Theory into its five parts. Your application of this theory seemed to perfectly fit the Hyperpersonal Theory. I agree with Jamie though, do you think you could have applied another theory to this situation/relationship? Perhaps the URT as you two began to talk more and more online after the intial contact? Or maybe SIP (depends on how long you spoke before you physically met in person)? It is kind of sad though, how we can feel so decieved even after talking to somebody using CMC for so long. What makes them different in person? Aren't they still the same person? Even if they chose to self-select, those characteristics are still them (maybe not everything about them, but it's still a part of them).
Haha.
It sounds like someone was engaging in selecting only certain qualities that she wanted you to see. I find it kind of interesting about how you disregarded your previous "rapport" with her by the way she looked though. If you analyze your situation with URT it seems like attraction should have increased while you met FtF.
That coupled with what you did not have in common (different from what happened in the beginning) helps to explain your situation.
Hey Steve,
First of all, I am very sorry for your encounter with a real-life Yeti. Second of all, I am sorry about how hilarious I find your post. Your analysis of Hyperpersonal Theory hits it right on the head - do you think after such an experience that you're more aware of the effects of the Hyperpersonal Theory in your online interactions? I'm sure you don't plan on dating anyone else you meet online until you get a full body shot. However I mean now perhaps you're more sensitive about your interactions with others via CMC through mediums other than MySpace. It's a shame that URT didn't work in your favor, as it did when I met a friend online. Perhaps there's more on the line when two people pursue a potential relationship via CMC, and they try to inflate their impressions of the other person (whether consciously or subconsciously) in the process. It's interesting how COMM245 theories can be complete opposites of each other!
Beware the dreaded MySpace Angle. I'm sure you've probably seen this page, but if not check it out: http://www.officialdatingresource.com/dating/beware-the-dreaded-myspace-angles-pics/
Your analysis is dead on. I like how you went through five different theories. Also, the video is hilarious, I hadn't seen that.
I really shouldn't have found this as funny as I did, but it does read like a lot of other Myspace-related horror stories. I hadn't seem the video either (but heard of the particular style of 'photography'), so thanks for that.
I also find it interesting how you disregarded how well you two connected because the difference between how you thought she looked and how she actually looked was so jarring. Either way, I think it's good you chose to focus on Hyperpersonal Theory since your situation lent itself to that perfectly and not so much with a few of the other models.
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